When your friends talk about their problems, you are willing to help. You offer your help. When you are having problems, you may mention them, and no one offers to help. You may not ask for help. Most people don’t think to offer help. Most people also don’t think to ask for help. When people ask for help, it’s ok to say no if you don’t want to help. When you ask for help, understand that no one is obligated to say yes. When you help people, you are internally keeping score. You are thinking that this person now owes you. And when you need help you expect them to repay the debt.